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Wednesday, April 19, 2023

Every Parent wants their kid to be confident on the field, court, ice, pitch. Every kid wants that self assurance, positive mindset, and feeling that they have what it takes. I hear ALL the time, "I want my kid to be more confident" "I just wish she would beleive in herself more" "He is so negative after a bad game, I tell him, It's ok! Its not the end of the world!"
The parents and the kids are frustrated, shaking their head, and curious how they can change things!
But heres the thing, confidence is a skill. Confidence isn't just a thing that you are born with and innately have with you 100% of the time.
Confidence fluctuates. When times are great, you feel super confident! When times are bad, you don't feel confident.
But what even is confidence? How can you train yourself to be more confident? And what is being confident for your sport even important?
Lets Dive in and answer those questions.
Before I do though, I want to share a story.
I mentor a highschool basketball player girl. She is coming off an ACL injury, her dad is super critical, and she had a coach that would tell her that she was too short, un capable, and would never play college basketball again.
WHATTTTT?!??!? I wanted to jump through the screen and hit some people. But I wont.
Imagine the effect hearing your father always tell you, you suck, your're too small, you're too short and then your coach telling you, you'll never play college basketball. This is HUGE negative ramifications that has destroyed her confidence and has long term subconscious effects. But, working with her 1 on 1, here are 5 things that we are doin, and already in 1 month, she says she feels better and is working on doing more moves in games and beleiving in herself! Lets goooo!!!
Dr. Nate Zinsser in his amazing book, The Confident Mind: A Battle-Tested Guide to Unshakable Performance*, a renowned performance psychologist who has taught generations of soldiers, athletes, high performers, and executives become more confident, master their mindset, and perform to their best, has the best definition of confidence that I have ever heard in my life and it is this, and I quote from this book, page 8, "A sense of certainty about your ability, which allows you to bypass conscious thought and execute unconsciously."
What I have been thinking about in terms of confidence is this, when you can take a skill and perform it intensely without any second guessing, over thinking, wondering, hesitations, fear, doubt, or"what ifs" THEN and ONLY THEN are you truly 100% confident in your skill.
This takes a lot of work though. And when it comes to athletes gaining confidence, heres the honest truth, majority of kids do not spend nearly enough time working on their skill or thier mindset to truly be confident. I would argue most people in the world aren't truly confident, period.
Student Athletes HAVE to be working on thier physical skill AND mental skill in order to perform their best.
Confidence is crucial for sports performance because it can have a significant impact on an athlete's physical and mental abilities, here are 4 Reasons Why:
1. Being Confident Enhances Your Performance: As an athlete, your performance is everything. Being confident in your abilities can give you the edge you need to perform at your best, which can be the difference between winning and losing. By taking calculated risks and making bold decisions, you can push yourself to new heights and achieve your goals. It is one thing to work on your skills in a controlled setting like at home, with your friends, or even in practice, and it is a whole nother beast, trying that shot, making that move, believing in yourself when the whistle blows and its game time. That why having a fearless level of confidence is so important.
2. Positive Mindset: Did you know that what you mostly think about, your brain will literally work to make happen. Did you know that according to research, 80% of peoples thoughts daily are negative. So how does it work that if we want to be confident and perform to our highest level, yet think negatively mostly everyday, that we will actually be confident..... Weird. So thinking positive is extremely important because if you believe you can succeed, you are more likely to put in the work and effort required to achieve your goals. A positive attitude can help you overcome setbacks, stay motivated, and maintain your focus even in challenging situations.
3. Improves Physical Abilities: To be the best athlete you can be, you need to be in top physical condition. Confidence can help you push your physical limits and achieve your potential. When you believe in your abilities, you are more likely to put in the time and effort required to develop your strength, speed, and agility. Nothing is more disheartening when you are the slowest on your team, can't make a basket, are weaker and smaller than everyone else. Getting in the gym, becoming faster, getting stronger, can be one of the quickest ways to boost confidence so you actually show up, and show out.
4. Mental Toughness: Mental toughness is what separates great athletes from good ones. It enables you to stay focused, handle pressure, and persevere through adversity. By developing mental toughness, you can overcome obstacles, maintain your focus, and achieve your goals even when faced with challenges.
In summary, confidence is essential for sports performance because it can enhance an athlete's physical and mental abilities, develop a positive mindset, and promote mental toughness.
1. Use Positive Self Talk to Be More Confident
Self-talk is a powerful cognitive tool used by athletes to influence their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. By engaging in positive and constructive self-talk, athletes can enhance their confidence, resilience, and performance. WORDS HAVE POWER! What you say out loud can alter your brain chemistry and psychology. This is crucial tool for helping athletes become more confident.
Self-talk refers to the internal dialogue that occurs within an athletes mind. It can be either positive or negative, and can significantly impact an athlete's self-esteem, motivation, and performance. So by cultivating positive self-talk, athletes can boost their confidence and achieve their full potential. The benefits of self talk are:
Enhanced Confidence: Positive self-talk improves an athlete's belief in their abilities, which contributes to better performance and overall mental well-being.
Improved Focus: Constructive self-talk helps athletes maintain their concentration on essential tasks, leading to fewer errors and better decision-making.
Emotional Regulation: Self-talk allows athletes to manage their emotions effectively, leading to reduced anxiety and stress.
Resilience: Positive self-talk fosters mental toughness, helping athletes to bounce back from setbacks and maintain motivation.
Techniques for Developing Positive Self-Talk
Awareness: The first step in cultivating positive self-talk is to become aware of your internal dialogue. Pay attention to the thoughts that cross your mind during training and competition, and evaluate whether they are constructive or destructive.
Reframe Negative Thoughts: When you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, pause and reframe the thought in a more positive light. For example, instead of
2. Train Properly To Boost Your Speed, Strength, Agility, Explosiveness, Endurance.
Being slow, weak, and not having the technical skill is probably the biggest predictor if an athlete will be confident or not. To be honest, you can have all the positive self talk, thoughts, and goal setting you want, but if you're not good at your sport, slow, or weak, then I am sorry, but you won't be confident or good.... So developing a proper strength training program is vital to boosting confidence! (It just so happens I own one the highest rated sports performance gyms in Connecticut! So if you are looking to boost your physical ability, we train athletes all around the country through our remote program!! Start here: https://performupward.com/sports-performance/)
As athletes see improvements in their speed and strength, they are likely to experience increased confidence in their abilities. This enhanced self-belief can have a profound impact on performance, as athletes approach challenges with greater conviction and resilience. By consistently prioritizing speed and strength training, athletes can unlock their full potential and experience the psychological benefits of increased self-confidence in sports.
3. Pick Your Friend Group Wisely
The company you keep plays a significant role in shaping your self-esteem, aspirations, and overall well-being. By surrounding yourself with positive and ambitious individuals, you can boost your confidence and enhance your personal growth. It is absolutely necessary to build a supportive friend group that will inspire, challenge, and encourage you on your journey to self-improvement.
You Must Identify Your Values and Goals
Before seeking out new friendships, it's essential to have a clear understanding of your own values and goals. Take some time to reflect on your aspirations, the qualities you value in others, and the type of support you need to thrive. This self-awareness will serve as a compass, guiding you toward like-minded individuals who share your ambitions and commitment to personal growth.
Assess Your Current Friend Group
Evaluate your current circle of friends to determine the impact they have on your confidence and personal growth. Are they supportive and encouraging, or do they bring negativity and self-doubt into your life? While it's important to maintain a diverse group of friends, consistently negative influences can hinder your progress and undermine your self-esteem. Recognize when it's time to distance yourself from these relationships in favor of more uplifting connections.
Expand Your Social Circle
Seek out new opportunities to meet individuals who share your values and drive for personal growth. Attend events, workshops, or classes in your areas of interest, and engage in meaningful conversations. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and explore new hobbies, as these experiences can lead to valuable connections with like-minded individuals.
Cultivate Positive Relationships
Once you've connected with ambitious, positive people, invest time and effort in nurturing these relationships. Offer support and encouragement. Hang out with them, invite them to events, bounce ideas and thoughts off of them, and be open to hear about their ideas. Building relationships takes time and by building relationship with a few positive people, it can propel you to amazing heights!
Visualization is a powerful mental technique that has been proven to enhance self-confidence, improve performance, and promote overall well-being. By actively imagining yourself succeeding in various aspects of life, you can create a positive mindset and reinforce your belief in your abilities. This chapter explores the science behind visualization, its benefits, and practical steps to incorporate this transformative practice into your daily routine.
4. Use Visualization to Boost Confidence
Understand the Science of Visualization
Visualization works by stimulating the same neural pathways in your brain that are activated during the actual performance of an activity. As a result, regularly visualizing success can effectively train your brain to recognize and create the outcomes you desire. By utilizing this mental rehearsal technique, you can prime your mind for success, build self-confidence, and enhance your performance in various areas of life.
Set Clear and Specific Goals
To effectively use visualization, begin by setting clear, specific, and achievable goals. Define what success looks like for you, whether it's acing a job interview, winning a race, or delivering a compelling presentation. By establishing concrete objectives, you provide your mind with a target to aim for during your visualization practice.
Develop a Visualization Routine
Consistency is key when it comes to reaping the benefits of visualization. Set aside time each day to engage in this mental exercise, ideally during periods when you feel relaxed and focused. Find a quiet space, close your eyes, and vividly imagine yourself achieving your goals. Engage all your senses and envision every detail, from the environment to your emotional state. Repeat this process regularly to strengthen your mental imagery and reinforce your self-confidence.
Combine Visualization with Positive Affirmations
Enhance the impact of your visualization practice by incorporating positive affirmations. These are empowering statements that can help you challenge self-doubt, reinforce your self-belief, and boost your confidence. As you visualize your success, recite these affirmations to further ingrain a positive mindset.
Overcome Obstacles with Visualization
In addition to envisioning your success, use visualization to mentally rehearse overcoming potential obstacles. By imagining yourself effectively navigating challenges, you can build the resilience and confidence necessary to tackle real-life setbacks. This proactive approach will not only strengthen your self-belief but also prepare you for a range of possible scenarios.
Track Your Progress
As you incorporate visualization into your daily routine, monitor your progress and note any improvements in your confidence, performance, or overall well-being. This ongoing assessment will help you stay motivated, fine-tune your practice, and further reinforce your belief in your abilities.
5. Embrace Failure to Increase Confidence
Failure is an inevitable aspect of athletic pursuits, yet many athletes struggle to accept and learn from their setbacks. By embracing failure and understanding its importance in personal growth, athletes can boost their confidence and develop resilience.
Redefine Failure To Boost Confidence
The first step in embracing failure is redefining it as a valuable learning opportunity rather than a negative outcome. Instead of viewing failure as a sign of weakness, consider it an essential component of the journey to success. By shifting this perspective, athletes can begin to approach setbacks with a growth mindset and develop the resilience needed to excel in their sport.
Benefits of Embracing Failure
Personal Growth: Failure provides a unique opportunity to identify areas for improvement and refine skills. By analyzing mistakes and learning from them, athletes can make significant progress in their development.
Resilience: Embracing failure cultivates mental toughness, as athletes learn to cope with setbacks and maintain motivation in the face of adversity.
Enhanced Confidence: By recognizing that failure is a natural part of growth, athletes can develop a more robust self-belief, knowing that they can overcome obstacles and ultimately achieve their goals.
Strategies for Embracing Failure
Reflect on the Experience: After a setback, take the time to analyze the situation and identify the factors that contributed to the failure. Consider what can be learned from the experience and how it can inform future decisions and actions.
Develop a Growth Mindset: Cultivate the belief that abilities and skills can be improved through hard work and dedication. This mindset encourages athletes to see failure as a temporary setback rather than a permanent limitation.
Set Realistic Goals: Establish achievable short-term and long-term goals that are challenging yet attainable. This helps athletes maintain motivation and focus on their progress, even when faced with setbacks.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding in the face of failure, recognizing that mistakes are a natural part of the learning process. By practicing self-compassion, athletes can reduce negative self-talk and maintain a healthy self-esteem.
Seek Support: Engage with coaches, teammates, and friends to discuss setbacks and share experiences. This support network can provide valuable insight and encouragement, helping athletes to bounce back from failure with renewed confidence.
Embracing failure is a crucial skill for athletes seeking to boost their confidence and achieve success in their sport. By redefining failure as a learning opportunity, developing a growth mindset, and implementing the strategies outlined in this chapter, athletes can transform setbacks into powerful tools for personal growth and enhanced self-confidence.


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We know the combines are coming up fast. But you're going to need to be even faster at the 40yd dash to leave a lasting impression that could be the difference between staying undrafted or starting your NFL dreams



